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HOW TO HAVE BABIES

I am sure that there are an awful lot of parents who are not quite sure how to tell their children how babies are born. This is a very delicate subject and it should be handled carefully. Children often get strange ideas about how babies can be picked up down at the local 5 and 10.

This, unfortunately, is not true. Try to explain babies have to be taken into consideration long before they actually arrive, sort of like "ordering" one. There is no 100% sure fire way of knowing exactly when your order will be completed or even if it will be accepted at all.

The orders are taken inside the bodies of women and take approximately nine months to be completed fro the actual "ordering" time. This form of child ordering is not as simple as going downtown to fill out a form or application. The process of ordering involves many hours with your wife, or girlfriend (for you crude types), so you can get to know her better prior to the ordering period. The order is then taken and if it is accepted, it is processed and the baby is manufactured and delivered about nine months later.

There are some speedy order houses which are considerably more expensive, but we'll get more into that some other time. I hope you find this a good way to tell your child the facts of life. If not, I have another descriptive paper available privately by writing to me. This one includes full colour pictures.