BOOK! A No-name Generic Product

THE ADVENT OF DOUBLE SIDED TAPE

I was very surprised when I last visited the local drug store just around the block from where I live. I had recently purchased a gift for my sister and now I needed to wrap it. The gift was a deluxe walk-in dishwasher, but that is irrelevant to my story.

Anyway, when I went to buy some tape to seal the wrapping, I discovered a new product; two sided tape. I thought this to be a great new idea and quickly bought an economical TWO PACK. I was temporarily hypnotized by the thought of never having to loop my tape again. I was sure that this gift would be the best wrapped gift I have ever given.

Unfortunately, when I arrived home, I realized just how wrong I had been. The product was totally useless!! It was impossible to pull out a piece of tape without it sticking to my fingers, and when I tried to get it off my fingers, I became stuck to the other side. As I struggled with this new invention, more and more came out and I became still more entangled. By this time I felt rather silly, standing there helpless, unable to call for help because my head was covered entirely by tape. It worked as an effective gag.

Luckily, after a few minutes, a friend of mine stopped over to pick up his socks and he found me in the middle of my living room, covered head to toes in tape. Unfortunately, in his attempt to untie me, he too became caught beyond escape. The two of us must have looked pretty funny as we attempted to release ourselves for close to twenty minutes. We were failures. The tape was just too sticky.

Then my mother walked in and she dropped all her groceries all over the floor. In a flash she snapped into action and shot into the kitchen. Seconds later, she re-entered the room with a pail of water. She then proceeded to dump the water all over us. The tape immediately dissolved to a slime. We were happy to be free!! As my friend was leaving to go home and wash up he turned to me and said;

FRANK! YOU'VE BEEN ROBBED!