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THE ELECTRONIC HOUSE

Last month, I visited the "Electronic House" for the first time. The title is given to this building for a good reason. It is truly the world's most electronically operated home. The tour costs almost nothing, and it is well worth it. The guide is a gorgeous blonde girl and she begins her tour in the house bedroom. By clapping her hands, the light fixtures are all activated and quiet music begins playing in the background.

From here we are transported via conveyor belt, to what is referred to as the "Universe's most modernized kitchen." I was surprised to find in its place a completely empty room. The guide simply whistled a special whistle, and instantaneously before my eyes the blank walls filled with new modern electronic fixtures and appliances. One of my favourites was the new liquid nitrogen freezer, which was capable of freezing foods in a matter of seconds. It would be great for ice at parties.

Next, we entered the main hallway and all of our coats were automatically removed and placed neatly in a closet. She explained to us that the central computer was activated by the sound of her voice and all she needed to say was "away" and the over-garments would be removed. I was almost ready to sign the papers and move right in. I am a generally lazy kind of guy.

But there was still more to see. In the next room, we were to experience a first in entertainment. There before us stood a huge six foot 3.D television screen. The guide turned it on and the entire crowd was awe struck at it's realness.

The show was an old-fashioned western type movie being performed before a live audience. The star, Robert Redford, was the Mayor and he was in a standing small town bar. Into the bar walks an original Mae West type of woman, and all of the heads in the bar turn. All the men start to whistle at her and several begin howling and drooling all over the bar counter.

The picture quality was so good, a few of the people in the tour found themselves performing like-wise. Robert stood up calmly and quietly told her to go away and never come back. The performance was moving and everyone loved it. We all began to applaud, and to our complete amazement, the lights went off, the music stopped, our coats were destroyed and the kitchen blew up. The guide smiled lightly and embarrassingly said, "You win some, you lose some."