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HOW TO BE A HOSTAGE

Many people have stopped me on the street in a rush and asked me how they could become a hostage. I used to think it was a joke. Why would anyone want to become a hostage, and even if they did, why would they expect me to know how?

Strangely, though, the questions continued becoming more frequent each day. Some days, as many as twenty different people would stop me and ask. Finally, I decided to do something about it. Having to confess to twenty people every day, that I honestly did not know how to become a hostage was depressing me. I was determined to find out. Who am I to let down the thousands of sick people who really needed to know.

After weeks of hard research, I had found nothing in books pertaining to my topic. There were hundreds of books on what to do if you are already a hostage, and others describing how to avoid becoming a hostage, but none explaining exactly how to go about being kidnapped. Finally, out of desperation, I walked out onto the street, stopped a gentleman and asked him.

"Excuse me sir. Could you please tell me how to become a hostage?

He laughed and continued on his way.