BOOK! A No-name Generic Product

THE MEN WHO NAME THINGS

Who are these masked men? Why are they so lucky that they can choose titles while the rest of us lie around on our cheeks using the products that these people we don't even know have named? Why was the fork named a fork? I think it's a dumb name. Why were flowers called flowers? Why not the other way around? It makes about as much sense. Who was the first to call salt SALT? Who gave these people the right, that's what I want to know!! Why can't I make up names? Can I call a dishwasher a "stone" if I want to? What does "stone" really mean anyway? In mexican it could mean something rude, or obscene.

It's just not fair. Just because I was born after these things were invented, does that mean I have to refer to them by names: that someone else thought up, even if it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard? Why can't objects be renamed every seven years or so? That way, everybody would get a chance to have a say in what things are called. The way it is now, it is very similar to the situation in the 1700's NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION!! We want to be able to name some of the things we use. Why shouldn't we be allowed to?

Why can't we rename electrical outlets "CURPLANTS" if we think it's fitting? What kind of a dumb name is "PLUG?" Whoever it was who thought plug was an appropriate name should be put to sleep. It's probably the same man who named the spoon.

What really is a TOWEL? What is a CAR? These names are not relevant to the objects they describe. What is KATSUP? Is it Katsup, Catchup or Ketchup? Who knows? Who cares? What is a HAT? What is a DUO-TANG? These words have no meanings!

I want a revolution!! What is a medium soft drink? What is a ...