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NO ONE? NO RESPECT!

One question that has always puzzled me is that very same one that I am going to discuss presently. Why is there no channel one on the TV dial??? Don't deny it. At some time in your life you have definitely asked that question, and you probably received no concrete answer. Nobody knows. To this day the question is unanswered and everyone only assumes there is a logical answer, but in fact, there is none.

There is a channel 2 and a Channel 3. Why not a Channel 1? And while we're on the subject of missing ONES, I'll bet you've also pondered why the letters on the telephone dial begin at two? Every number has three letters next to it except the ONE.

If I were a ONE, I'd protest. People are not being fair.

ONES are slowly disappearing from the face of the earth. People are buying "double-packs" and everything is available in bulk quantities. Even the good old dollar bill is being replaced by the more useful Two. It makes you think, doesn't it? In our modernized society, people are phasing out the ONE.

I always thought "Number One" was the most important. We're supposed to look out for Number One! In support of the ONE, I have pledged never to eat another pair. What can you do? 1985 is the official year of the ONES. Why not do something special . . . get a divorce!