BOOK! A No-name Generic Product

NOSEHAIRS

Nose hairs have always greatly interested me. I have always found them extremely fascinating. I remember once, when I was a small boy, my adopted father used to come up to me and he would tell me a story. He sat in his big green chair and began. He spoke softly, but with a strong accent which made it impossible for me to understand a word he was saying, but I always knew that whatever it was, it would have been meaningful. Of course, I doubt it had anything to do with nose hairs.

Later in life I stumbled upon a notebook up in my attic. It was dusty and, as I wiped it off I realized it contained my father's personal notes. I knew I would finally be able to understand what my dear old adopted Dad was trying to tell me all those years before.

I slowly opened the first big page of the book.

It was as dramatic as any scene in any horror movie. His handwriting was surprisingly clear for that of an ex-doctor, not at all like what I had expected. But, unfortunately, the entire book was written in hieroglyphics, making it impossible for me to decipher. However, it probably had nothing to do with nose hairs.

I then turned to my mother for the information I requested, but she was deaf mute and she had both her arms cut off in the war so the only method she had of communicating was by drawing with her toes. Surprisingly, she had become quite talented and some of her artwork had sold, though not at too high a price because she could never see her models. She was also blind. Unfortunately, she could not answer my questions because she was wearing socks at the time and had no way of removing them. Besides, she had never seen any nose hairs.

This is why I have never known much about nose hairs, but as long as I can remember, they have always interested me.

APOLOGY:

I would like to apologize for the past note, entitled "Nose hairs." It appeared in error and was not edited out. This apology also appeared right after it in error and was also not edited out. I apologize for these mistakes, but my secretary has other qualifications that outnumber her actual office skills, if you know what I mean. -ED.