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RECIPES FOR ARMCHAIRS

Many housewives have written letters to me and inquired about the proper cooking for armchairs. They wished to know if I had any recipe suggestions. Naturally, I promptly chucked the letters right into the garbage where I thought they belonged, along with the many other crank letters I receive.

However, recently I received a letter from the Queen of England, requesting the same recipe ideas. This letter (sent by way of registered mail, of course) has inspired me to look around to see what I can find in the way of armchair dishes.

I instructed my staff to assist me, and together we must have scoured a total of 3700 books by some 3000 chefs and homemakers. Unfortunately, none of us were successful in locating even one single recipe for an armchair, easy chair, recliner, rocker, or chairs of any type.

I am terribly sorry to have to disappoint the Queen of England, but I'm afraid there is no other choice. I refuse to keep on looking in any other books because my staff and I all have other things to do.

However, if the Queen will send a self-addressed, stamped envelope, I will be able to send on to her a great recipe for a velvet footstool, A LA MODE.