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HOW TO RECOGNIZE A RAPIST

These days, more and more women are falling victim to these mad rapists, usually clothed ones. They usually walk up to these ladies and ask the time. If they get an answer then they rape her, but if they don't get an answer they rape her anyway.

Haven't we all felt a little uneasy walking down a city alley constantly worrying about whether or not we are going to be raped? Luckily I haven't, but I'm sure that many of you have.

The most important thing to remember about rapists is: THEY LIKE CABBAGE. Always be sure to carry a cabbage with you wherever you go. You might get away with passing off an old head of lettuce in a desperate situation, but NEVER EVER tempt a rapist with asparagus or brussell sprouts. Everyone knows that the mere sight of these vegetables sends a rapist into a wild rage. He might try something rash, like pulling out a banana and try to stick it in your ear.

Another point: rapists don't wear hats.