BOOK! A No-name Generic Product

WHAT'S WITH RUBBER EGGS?

I could not believe it when I tried to crack my usual breakfast egg about a month ago, and it would not crack.

This puzzled me, as I have always tapped my eggs on the side of the frying pan to break their seal. I have never had any problem. However, this time was different. This egg would not crack no matter how hard I persisted. After tapping several extra times, I proceeded to throw the egg about the room, first on the floor, then later against the walls.

Each time, the egg remained un-shattered. I then went downstairs to the workshop to get a hammer, but again the attempt was in vain. I broke my chisel over it, dulled my hack saw on it and cracked my welder's anvil over it.

Continuing desperately, I took a couple of shots at it with my rifle, but unfortunately the bullets simply ricocheted off it and ended up smashing three of my kitchen windows.

By this time I was determined to crack this case. I was more amazed than hungry. Using the egg as a baseball failed, as did golfing with it. It seemed as though nothing would break this shell of armour. In a last fit of anger, I took it outside and strapped it to the bumper of my car and drove full speed into the side of my house. I am now sitting here in my semi-private room in a hospital, where I have been since that afternoon.

Scientists in the lab are still undertaking extensive studies of my egg and have not yet discovered a method of opening it. Oh well.