BOOK! A No-name Generic Product

THE SUBSTITUTE TEACHER

I walked into my classroom last Friday and in place of my regular educator was a "subby", or substitute teacher. This was no ordinary substitute teacher. This lady wore purple socks.

You may think that wearing purple socks is not all that unusual, but in this context, it certainly was. She wore them with pink shoes. With these she wore a bright red dress and green gloves and an orange hat accented by a turquoise feather. On her face she wore yellow-tinted makeup and blue lipstick.

Yes, this was certainly like no other supply teacher I had ever seen. Mr. Boysen, our regular teacher was away quite often, so we had experienced some pretty strange ones, but none could come close to being as odd as this one. On her blouse she had embroidered in green a big Superman "S" sign, and she spoke with a southern accent with just a touch of Russian.

I felt very comfortable learning from her because I knew she was a virgin. This was to be my mother image from that day on, and since I had no real mother, we both fell passionately in love. That evening we flew off to Las Vegas for the weekend. I knew that this was an experience neither one of us would soon forget.

When I arrived back in my classroom the following day, I found my regular teacher situated behind his desk as always, and I knew that the affair was over, but I know that I'll never meet another person quite like...

MY SUBSTITUTE TEACHER.