BOOK! A No-name Generic Product

THE WATCH

I decided it was time I should start my Christmas shopping for the year. I usually tried to shop earlier and avoid the rush, but I almost always found that everyone else had the same idea. This year, I was going to try something new, and shop AFTER Christmas was over, thus really avoiding the rush. This way I can take advantage of all the Boxing Day sales.

I decided to buy my brother a watch. I took the bus over to the BIG CITY DEPARTMENT STORE but found that all they sold were departments. From there, I was directed to SHEARS. Quickly, I located the Watch counter. There I could see virtually thousands of watches of all different makes and styles. I asked for assistance, but the man I asked was from the pencil repair department and said he couldn't help me. He called over a nice lady who he said could tell me anything I wanted to know. I tested her by asking her who the 12th President of the United States was. She knew. I then changed the subject back to watches and asked to see one that had an alarm.

She brought out this big watch and pushed one of the buttons on the side. Immediately, classical music streamed out. She showed me how to work the volume control and tune in different stations. I was going to buy it right away, but she proceeded to show me some of it's other features. By the touch of another button, it vacuumed up all the ashes in the ashtray. It also had a temperature and barometer readout and could clock the moving speed of objects when directed at them. I paid for it, wrapped and went home feeling satisfied that I had bought a truly unique gift. My brother would have the only one like it in our town. I presented it, he unwrapped it, looked at it and said; "I've already got one!"

(Bet you thought I was going to say; "But it doesn't tell the time.")