BOOK! A No-name Generic Product

USES FOR RUBBER VOMIT

Several novelty shops all across Canada and the United States sell a relatively new fun product known as rubber vomit. I have received literally two letters from consumers demanding literature on how and what to use this for. This is that piece of literature which I'm sure will satisfy the wants of not only those two concerned consumers, but also anyone else who has either purchased or considered purchasing a package of rubber vomit.

Rubber vomit is extremely compactable, making it possible to conceal it in a closed fist. This feature makes it quite simple to make the vomit appear virtually anywhere, after which it can be picked up and re-used over and over. I took a country wide survey to find out the number one use for rubber vomit by the nation's users. It's chief role was in the "But mother, I don't like beets" classic bit.

It goes as follows:

Child: I hate beets!
Mother: Eat them!
Child: But, I hate them!
Mother: Eat them anyway!
Child: (You then take one bit of the beets and produce the rubber vomit accompanied by a grotesque sound.)
Mother: Oh, Elmo! I'm sorry, I'll never make you eat beets again.

Thus, you have become victorious in the food fight. For added effect, you can add red food colouring to the vomit. Naturally, this works with spinach also by just washing out the red and adding green.

This is a must buy for any child or parent who is often invited to bad dinner parties.

Look for it by name: BUYABLE BARF!