BOOK! A No-name Generic Product

THUMB NAIL CARE

Have you ever taken a serious look at your thumb nails? (Don't do it now, you're reading this - do it later). If you haven't looked at your fingernails lately, chances are they are long and pointy and filled with little bits of black gunk. It is possible that even if you have looked at them recently, they could still be filled with that stuff, because it seems to accumulate so quickly.

Thumbnails are among the ugliest parts on the human body second only to toenails. This fact is usually due to poor thumbnail maintenance and can often be cured. If, when you look at your nails, they have little white splotches all over them, it is a sign that you haven't been taking care of them.

I have devised a method of testing the health of your nails and it should be carried out twice a week to assure good strong fingernails. Push down gently on your nail with another finger. (probably from the other hand unless you are extremely well coordinated). Your nail should turn white, and then return to it's pinkish colour upon release. If the red colour does not return and instead your nail turns blue, you have pushed down too hard.

If, for any reason at all, you find that your nails are not functioning properly, bring them into the shop and we'll give you some loaners while we fix up your nails until they are something you can be proud of.

This has been a public service announcement, paid for by: TONY'S THUMBNAIL EMPORIUM.