Ask Wonko
Wonko is a puppet with wisdom. He's lived a long and varied life, and had many different hands up his ass. He has experience and wisodm one man could never aquire on their own. Because of this, he offers great advice, sometimes in an old man sarcastic way.
Ask Wonko a question. He will answer. Sometimes it'll be helpful.
Comments
So I am being an asshole? YAH YAH!
I never understood the idea of being an asshole, since a hole is in definition, nothing. An asshole is a hole - nothing. An ass is the part around the asshole. As ass is part of an animal. We all have asses. We all have assholes too technically, including puppets. Thats where you put the hand.
Hi Wonkybaby,
Welcome back among the living. Or at least among those who think they're alive.
Question: Apparently light (or a photon) can get quite old, seeing as we can capture events that happened billions of lightyears ago (and away). One might even assume light doesn't "die out" at all in spite of the popular saying. So, what would happen if light was let loose inside a sphere that reflects perfectly (on the inside)? Would this light simply shine for ever?
I've always wondered what happens with a photon when it's not reflected from, for instance, Arthur's towel when he's thumbs up somewhere in the vicinity of the horse head nebula trying to get a ride back home. Does it just disappear, does it turn into something else or does it simply get lost in the maze, much like Arthur himself?
Thanks man. This is really important to me.
I am actually fascinated with the idea of light traveling for great distances, but I see a flaw if your logic. If the light is inside a mirrored sphere we would not see it. It would be inside. If it showed through the sphere them it would be escaping and expire.
Ah... so light does expire? So how long does it exist for?
By the way, the fact that we don't see it doesn't mean it isn't there. Unless you're a believer of the fable that a tree falling in the woods doesn't produce any sound if there's no-one there to hear it fall. Soundwaves are after all more than just something we can hear.
Light needs a source to continue. A flame burns out. A planet burns out. A bulb burns out. You were talking about bouncing reflected light, presumably without a sustaining original source. Like a line segment rather than a line. It would have a start and an end, even when traveling at the speed of light. If you turn on a flashlight and then turn it off, a chunk of light escapes and travels outward, but with a finite end.
Hey Wonko What you want for christmas?????
I went away and missed the question. Sorry... What I want? The webcams to come back. Maybe they will in January!
Hi Wonko
do you think a 17lb Greenland Halibut will make a good pet for a 7 year old?
I have heard of a friend in Britain that had a pet Halibut named Eric. He wasn't like the others. They were call too flat. I hear Halibuts make great pets if you can resist the urge to eat them for dinner every Friday. Personally, I don't like fish - to eat or to watch in a tank. They seems sad and trapped. I know I wouldn't want to live in a ... oh wait... I move even less than a fish. I hang on the wall.
In any case, fish are often good pets, but a 17lber seems like a better meal. It's a big fish and would require a large tank. Plus... you need a fish licence.
http://www.alltooflat.com/about/python/
Hey Wonko nice to see you back, Do you have a favorite comedian of some sort? Maybe a puppet one?
I've always been impressed by Peanut's humour and his handler doesn't even move his mouth!
http://www.jeffdunham.com/
Hey Wonko, Did you have any previous owners before the one you have now and if so were they good to you?
When this section of the web site started years ago, my questions were answered by a web site visitor I didn't even know... but he wasn't funny and lost interest in a few months so my questions have been dictated and answered by me, via my handler's fingers for several years now.
Wonko, were you by any chance related to the great Albert Einstein? You kinda look like him. Him. Dr. Wily from Megaman, or that professor guy from We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story.
No. I am actually more related to your bed sheet.
Just wondering....are you hanging there on the wall by your underwear? Did some evil bully do that to you?
Puppets have a hard time standimng on theior own, and I don't have the budget of movie magic like Kermit does. So I'm hanging on a wall, but not by my underware... that's a torchure Ive been lucky to avoid.
Ok.. seriously... have you ever seen a puppet in underwear?
How does money work in your situation Wonko? Are you very rich or how does the puppet currency go?
Being a puppet is very similar to being homeless in many ways, with the exception that I don't actually need to eat. I have one pair of clothes, which is a brown suit and bow tie. In life, if you have clothes and food taken care of already - what do you really need money for? Society would be a very different place is food and clothes were free I think.
The whole Taylor Swift/ Kanye West deal. You've probably heard by now.
What would Wonko have done in that situation?
I'm old. I've seen the same things happen over and over with different players in the roles. I've watched MC Hammer tell the world he's going to be more famous than the Beatles, and then never been seen again. Kanye does things to become famous, even if it's bad fame. He wants his name to be known today, and in the future.
People loved Michael Jackson after he died, even amidst the stories of his perversions and weirdness. Fans of Kanye will stick by him, and enemies of him still know his name. Even I know his name, and there sure isn't any reason I should know the name of a really bad black rap artist who only pretends to be able to sing.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Believe it or not, I did not know the answer to this question. While you might think it was obvious, and I'm start singing the song in my head the moment I saw the question, I did not. Instead, I decided to have Google help me with the answer. The results were kind of funny if you take them literally. Now I'm confused.
Spongebob lives on a pineapple under the sea and is gay – CNN ...Spongebob lives on a pineapple under the sea and is gay – CNN. This morning's breaking news: SpongeBob SquarePants is gay and lives under the ocean on a ...
Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? – Evil Beet Gossip
Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? Johnny Depp in Puerto Rico.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? - The Tech
Do you like BMW's?
I'm an old man puppet, not so hip on the kids new LoL, WTF, LMPAO, BBW terms. I do however love the GMILF's and PILF's
Hey man, I wanna hear your voice how is that possible?
I used to have a video placed on this page on the old site. It hasn't gotten moved here yet, but I can be seen here: http://frogstar.info/wonko2
Click PLAY VIDEO.
Who's your favorite musician and why?
Ralph the dog, from the Muppet show, although I like Animal too. The rest of the Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem band is OK, but Ralph has real piano playing hands. Quite possibility the only puppet musician with real talent.
Hey Wonko, Are you any relation to Wonko the Sane?
In fact, I was Wonko the Sane when this web site started, many years ago. The name Frogstar is from the same stories as Wonko and that was my name... but later in life I decided to take that part off... to not be sued and because nobody knew it.
Wonko, do you know any good food recipes?
Puppet food is different... You may not like it.
http://www.leeleescreations.shoppingcartsplus.com/page/page/591177.htm
Hey Wonko, I'm glad you're back. How does one decide between anchovies or sardines?
Thanks for your kind words. I answer questions even without praise. Anchoives are a rare food that almost everyone knows about, but few have tasted. Most have heard about Anchoives on a pizza but many don't even know it's a fish part. I don't even know what they are to be honest.
If you ask me, they're the same. yechy fish. If you close your eyes and taste either, you gag... so they're the same. Why choose.
I need some help, I can't figure out how to jerk off? What should I do?
I would say you are a jerk. Everything you do puts us off.
Know of any good porno sites?
I am a puppet... so puppet porn isn't as popular. Maybe you'd like;
http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/
If you are Wonko why does your name say Jeff Goebol on the posts? Ha! I've got you!
First of all, it says Jeff Goebel... and I was wondering when somebody would ask that. You see, as a puppet, my dexterity is limited. I have only one working hand on a stick, and so I dictate my replies to Jeff, who types them in.
I tried typing them myself, but it was a mess.
Hey man, I've got a question for ya. Why the heck aren't you on facebook or myspace? You should be.
Also what does your voice sound like, can we get a clip you talking?
They remove non humans from those sites.
Hey Wonko nice to see you're back. My question is have you ever considered a female companion? Did you ever go look for love?
I have yet to find another puppet like me for less than $60... and I don't want to pay that kind of coin for a companion, especially when the puppets are not anatomically correct.
Maybe the next time I'm somewhere they're cheaper. I was purchased in Vegas for much less. Even the Vegas puppets were rather flat chested however.
Life as a puppet must be hard. I just read that comment about how you feel nothing. Would you ever wish to be a real person like pinochio?
I used to dream of being a real person like pinocio, but he was a young boy. I'm an old man, and if I was real - I may have pain and aches and memory loss and wrinkles. As a puppet I stay fresh and look the same for years. It's not a bad life actually. I could use a change of clothing though. Thanks for your concern.
Hey Wonko, I just wanted to know what you do to relax after long days?
Well, speaking as a puppet, the days are not very long. I am stored on a shelf, and when it's been a hard day, I go back on the shelf and feel nothing. However, I thank yoiu for your question anyway. It's nice you're curious for my well being.
I have tried swimming and playing the Wii but neither is recommended as a hand puppet.
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