You Might be a Trekkie

You might be a Trekkie if…

  • you know Yeoman Rand’s cabin number
  • you can name all 79 episodes of classic Trek–in order
  • you can name alphabetically all the women Kirk seduced
  • Mr. Spock beamed down into your back yard last night and talked to you
  • you named your first child Leonard William DeForest
  • you named your first child Tiberius
  • you breed Tribbles
  • you have a matter/anti-matter converter in your bathroom
  • you answer your cellular flip-phone “Kirk here”
  • Deanna Troi can ‘feel’ your pain
  • you spend $150.00 at a convention on a piece of plastic that may or may not look like a phaser
  • you sing along with William Shatner’s record album
  • you shave your head to look like Captain Picard
  • you want to have Worf’s baby
  • you talk… like… William Shatner–on purpose
  • you have a copy of every Star Trek uniform shown on TV or in the movies you spend the weekend decorating your friend’s van to look like a shuttlecraft instead of going on a date with the Homecoming Queen
  • you trim your angora cat’s hair to make it look like a tribble
  • you scare your little brother by acting like a Gorn
  • you have a shrine to Gene Roddenberry in your spare room
  • your dream date is with Deanna Troi
  • you keep asking Scotty to ‘beam you up’
    he does…
  • you write love letters to Lursa and Bator
  • you can trace your genealogy back to Surak
  • you redecorate your living room to look like the bridge of the Enterprise
  • you make annual pilgrimages to the Paramount lot
  • you have seen Star Trek The Motion Picture over 100 times
  • you can quote all of the Articles of the Federation
  • you know every word of Star Trek IV by heart
  • your idea of a great evening is spouting Trek trivia for six hours with your friends
  • you quote the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
  • you sing Klingon Opera while showering
  • you cannot use contractions in your speech
  • when you get sick you want Doctor Beverly to take care of you
  • you use stardates on all your correspondence
  • you name your cat ‘Spot’ and feed it feline formula #29
  • whenever you start your car you take your right index finger and point it ahead of you saying “Engage”
  • you call your Psychic friends to talk to Mr. Spock
  • you hire a private detective because you KNOW Guinan is here somewhere
  • you know the difference between “Live long and prosper” and “Nanu, nanu”
  • you save up money to send your kids to Starfleet Academy
  • you stand in line for 13 hours to get Gene Roddenberry’s autograph
  • you channel Gene Roddenberry
  • you ask your broken computer to run a self-diagnostic
  • you talk to your computer (Hello, computer!)

    If any of these apply to you…..You might be a Trekkie.

Submit a Comment