Ask Wonko
Wonko was a wise old Grandfather hand puppet who would answer questions
posed to him, not always accurate, not always polite, but usually
entertaining. Wonk has retired in 2009 but may return soon. Here is his
archive going back a few years.
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9.Nov.2008 12:31 |
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Re: Tea |
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Dear Mr Wonko, I was enjoying a refreshing cup of tea this very morning when a multitude of very, very, very tiny Dr Watsons suddenly rose to the surface, swimming about in it before my very eyes. Please correct me if I am wrong, but miniature Sherlock Holmes sidekicks do not come as standard with common black tea, or any other kind of tea for that matter. At least, not as far as I know. They were exceedingly small Dr Watsons. I would even go as far as to say that they were nano-Watsons. Very, very, very, very, very, very tiny Dr Watsons. Large Dr Watsons, they were not. They were all having little epileptic fits and screeching at me! Yes, screeching at me they were! "Screeeech!!... Screeeeeeeeeeech!!!...Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech!!!!!!" Then they swam about for a while, dived under the surface and were gone. Incredible that they were not scalded by the tea, don't you think? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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A strange question indeed. I think you'll find that every object in your vision or universe is covered with very tiny lifeforms, mostly microscopic. (Your pillows are the worst) The tea isn't the ONLY place you see them... it just happens that the liquid magnified them so that you could see them a little better. The real truth is, your tea was spiked with some hallucinogen that made them look like Dr. Watson. |
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*** |
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27.Oct.2008 23:31 |
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Re: Question |
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Why? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Because I can. |
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*** |
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4.Aug.2008 14:50 |
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Re: Life |
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Hi Wonkybaby, Why is it that where ever you go, when you watch pigeons walk about, five out of ten times they are crippled by missing or deformed toes or feet? I'm kinda guessing this could be because they go where people go and, as a result, hang around on hard surfaces a lot. I've never noticed this with any other bird tho.... Cheerz man |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I am confused. Are you asking why 50% of pigeons have bad feet? This is not an observation I share however pigeons are a species of bird that has evolved and adopted a very human-friendly almost symbiotic relationship with humans. They live and exist with humans and human-made objects... which upsets humans. It is quite possible that may of them have damaged feet because the humans of some areas put up really nasty pricks and blades and other devices to keep pigeons off them. Perhaps these are cutting them. Sorry... I usually try to be funny. That's just sick and cruel. |
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*** |
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19.Jul.2008 19:07 |
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Re: General |
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Hey, it's your fault cause the fireplace blew up. |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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IT'S YOUR FAULT - the great improv thginking game is supported elsewhere on this site or on http://faultgame.com |
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*** |
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19.Jul.2008 15:21 |
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Re: General |
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Yo man I like think you is all messed up. You be all looking like that ALbert Einstien and stuff. I'm gonna cut off yo hair and stick it up ya nose. |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Is that a question? I only know how to answer questions. |
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*** |
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17.Jul.2008 13:10 |
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Re: General |
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From one puppet to another, I think you're really cool. I wish you success in everything you do! Signed, Kermit the Frog |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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In a way, Kermit was one of the first FROG STARS. |
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*** |
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13.Jul.2008 19:27 |
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Re: General |
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So what movie are looking forward to seeing? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I'm a puppet. Movies don't really interest me much. |
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*** |
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11.Jul.2008 4:25 |
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Re: Movies? |
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I'm your half-sister PANKA. I was wondering, are there any movies you're looking forward to seeing? Hellboy 2 is coming out and the new Batman movie will be out soon. |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Cool. Guestbook marketing. How much did they pay you? |
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*** |
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10.Jul.2008 23:57 |
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Re: Chat |
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Is there any way to speak to you outside of the outside? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Come in through the window. |
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*** |
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10.Jun.2008 7:30 |
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Re: Life |
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Wonko, why does my mother always buy that cheap grey toiletpaper? I'm sure we can afford something that doesn't grind my rectum to the point of bleeding. |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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You know, this has always puzzled me as well. Not just your mother, but in general. Why do homes have cheap TP. I understand why public restooms may cheap out, only because some people use yards at a time, but in your home. Come on Moms! I don't have an answer, but I do have a solution. Buy your own. If you call her cheap, then I call you cheap. |
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*** |
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1.May.2008 13:55 |
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Re: Wonko |
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Do puppets like having their strings pulled by tyrants? what kind of stuffing do you prefer? In addition, does the webmaster treat you well? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Apart from his hand up my ass, yes. Marionettes have strings. Puppets have hands. |
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*** |
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13.Apr.2008 2:08 |
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Re: iPod |
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I keep having dreams about having iPods of different models (often nonexistant) and playing with the touch wheel. I already have an iPod, so what's up with the dreams? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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iPods are sexy. |
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*** |
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12.Apr.2008 11:15 |
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Re: General |
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can lighting strike from the ground up towards the sky? if yes, how does it do this? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I am no scientist, but I believe mots lightnight strikes between the clouds. However, as I understand it, lightnight does strike from the ground to the sky. It's just like a long spark between two things. |
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*** |
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3.Apr.2008 22:27 |
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Re: which came first? |
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which came first; the chicken or the giant alien spaceship? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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The small Alien spaceship came first, and when they asked the alien to ride it, the alien said no. He was the first chicken. |
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*** |
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31.Mar.2008 10:02 |
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Re: movies |
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could you please tell me have to get free movies online that do not cost money |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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It's on the site; please arrest me.com |
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*** |
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28.Mar.2008 18:30 |
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Re: Hey |
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Iam going to punch you in your mouth fart in your ear throw you off a building run down stairs open the door go outside pick you up punch you in the mouth |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Cool. I'm a puppet... you're a cartoon character. |
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*** |
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14.Mar.2008 22:07 |
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Re: Xyzzy |
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Whats the point of that link, is it a riddle, a puzzle, or is there some random button, or what.. it's very odd. Or was it just put there to make people ask questions, like the blinking light on answering machines. |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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XYZZY is an inside joke. If you're on the inside, it was funny. |
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*** |
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10.Feb.2008 18:32 |
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Re: Life |
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What's the best way to get over a broken heart? I've tried getting p1ssed and screwing around, but that's getting old real fast. I need an answer quick! I'm going nuts... |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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The Jarvik-7 |
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*** |
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17.Jan.2008 17:17 |
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Re: Wonko! |
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Wonko! Tell us about your childhood and early stages of your personal development!? Ehhh? Ehhhhhh??? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I am a puppet and have no memory of the factory I was sewed in. |
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*** |
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13.Jan.2008 13:23 |
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Re: questions |
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How come the sky is always blue? Which game do you like playing on frogstar.com? Do you like celebrities? do you have aim? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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(1) It isn't. (2) It's Your Fault (3) I have little use for aim since I seldom shoot or throw anything. |
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*** |
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7.Jan.2008 23:50 |
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Re: Billiards |
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When playing 8-Ball if you completely miss every other ball with the cue ball is that considered a "Ball in hand" and the other player may place the cue ball wherever he wishes? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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When playing 8-Ball (known by many names) there are lots of rule variations. If you're playing on a table that doesn't allow you to pull sunk balls back, then BALL-IN-HAND is a popular rule. ANY fault can give the other player that advantage. |
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*** |
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30.Dec.2007 18:05 |
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Re: daily LOL |
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Why isn't the daily LoL daily??? and why don't your webcams WORK!?!?!?!? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Odd. Webcams should be working fine. The Daily LOL stoped being daily a while ago, but may again one day get more updates. |
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*** |
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10.Dec.2007 17:38 |
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Re: Odd Question |
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Wouldn't an odd question be: Do you like Club Cow or Penguins? Or What is 3 times 5? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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You confuse "odd" with "silly" what is funny about "what is 3 x 5" |
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*** |
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22.Nov.2007 11:26 |
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Re: IOIJJKJKG |
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DO U LIKE CLUB PENGUIN AND COWS |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I had never heard of Club Penguin, so I used google and found it. It looks like a neat game, so I guess I do like Club Penguin, and I have always liked cows. Steak especially, but in geeral cows have a cute look to them. Odd question. |
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*** |
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3.Nov.2007 23:05 |
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Re: Sign in |
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Wonko? Is that Hungarian? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Wonko is taken from the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I am not hungry. |
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*** |
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23.Oct.2007 21:47 |
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Re: Blood |
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I knew it! Your advice was flawed, anyway. The room started to smell a few weeks after the paint job. |
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*** |
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20.Oct.2007 19:12 |
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Re: Nice. |
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Touché, Wonko. |
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*** |
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14.Oct.2007 10:50 |
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Re: Re: Cats |
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About a month ago, you answered a question about how to get blood stains out of clothes and off the walls and floors. You responded by telling Not Koer that he should create more blood, and make everything red. Blood would eventually turn brown, and the CSI scanners would detect blood, not just solid colors. Besides, wouldn't it be easier to just paint and dye everything red, without blood? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I wanted him to get caught. |
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*** |
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29.Sep.2007 12:45 |
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Re: Life |
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I'm trying an IQ test, and I'm stuck on a question. If LIVED is to devil, then what is 6342 to? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Spiced Ham. |
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*** |
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13.Sep.2007 21:18 |
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Re: Cats |
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Okay, I took your advice about the cat. Now what do I do with the body? And the large bloodstains on my clothes and floors? And walls? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Every so often somebody asks me this question. How do I get rid of the blood stains. Sometimes it's a teenage girl asking, sometimes it's a murderer. My answers are usually based on life experience, and I've not had nose bleeds since I was in grade school - so long ago, they actually called it grade school. My best suggestion is to create more blood. Dye the clothes in it, and flood the walls with so much, that everything is red, and it'll look like the wall colour. Somtimes the best place to hide is obvious. If the whole room is red, even the CSI scanners will only show up as solid colours. |
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*** |
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13.Sep.2007 10:51 |
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Re: Your Spelling |
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Hello. I remember a time when you used to give out about people who cant spell correctly. Now all I see are mistake after mistake, This is not a criticism but a question as to why you've become so lax? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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What the hell do you mean "used to give out about people"??? I was always harder on grammar than spelling. |
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*** |
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13.Sep.2007 10:45 |
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Re: Spiders |
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Hey oh great one! I recently moved to the countryside and I am terrified of spiders, The ones out here are Massive, any solutions as to how I can overcome my fear? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Hmmmm... Breed snakes! |
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*** |
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12.Sep.2007 18:19 |
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Re: Wonko! |
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Will I ever get that purple elephant that I wanted? XP |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Yes, but it takes years to breed them, so it may not be for a while. Now a White Elephant is in a lot of rooms... but you asked for purple. |
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*** |
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8.Sep.2007 14:42 |
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Re: Neg. |
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I'm 15 and am seeing a guy. At first he was kind of reluctant to go out with me for the mere fact that, I am unusal, and that his friends don't like me. But He finally broke down and asked. But last night, the 3rd night we were dating, he tried to put the "moves" on me. And I don't mean just kissing.. How should I put it to him that I'm not ready for that yet? He says it feels like we've been dating for a long time.. Ugh. Sorry this is so long. But I thought maybe you could help. I really like him and don't want to break up with him either. |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Be unusual. Be proud. Its not unusual however to want to go slow with first or early relationships. Solution: Tell him how much you love Frogstar.com, and tell him to visit this site, and this page. He'll read this and get the idea. Peer pressure is bad, except when you tell people to visit Frogstar.com (This is supposed to be funny, not serious) |
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*** |
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6.Sep.2007 22:33 |
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Re: Cats |
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I have a cat. See, he's had a furball caught in his throat for about 2 weeks. We've given him this anti-hairball cream, but it hasn't helped much. See, he licks out new kitten a lot since we bought him (2 months ago). Do you think we should go to the vet? It is serious? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Not serious at all. Let it die. It's only a cat. |
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*** |
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4.Sep.2007 16:48 |
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Re: Canoes and Kayaks? |
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Hiya Wonko mate; Here's the ULTIMATE Question: What is the difference between a canoe and a kayak!?!?!? Thanks! |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Interesting. Canoe.com ad kayak.com both having nothing to do with Canoes or Kayaks. Kayaks have a hole in the top, and Canoes have their holes in the bottom. |
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*** |
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3.Sep.2007 14:32 |
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Re: General |
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Hello Wonko! You know how Duke Nukem 3D, Wofenstein 3D, and games like that are, well, 3D, but they're not really. It has something to do with floating textures... Can hou help explain this? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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THREE-D is three dimensions... length, width and height. 3D doesn't always mean it HAS three dimensions in reals space, but we can still SEE the three sides on a flat 2D surface. TV is 3D-ish...although we really only see 2D on it most of the time. The Simpsons ae 2D You're right. It is confusing. |
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*** |
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17.Aug.2007 13:46 |
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Re: General |
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Do superheroes have heroes? Who is Superman's hero? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I asked, and Clark Kent likes to watch HEROS, on NBC Mondays at 8pm. |
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*** |
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16.Aug.2007 18:01 |
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Re: The Universe |
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Hi there Wonky baby, Question: Can something (anything) be infinitely small? I'm not even going to ask about infinitely big, the universe is mind boggling enough as it is... |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Infinity is a concept and math problem. I theory, anything can be cut in two... but real science tels us that math tgheory and practice often differ. I like to ponder; There are an equal number of ODD numbers, as there are numbers. An odd paradox. |
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*** |
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2.Aug.2007 20:09 |
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Re: Sunlight |
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Will I really go blind from staring at the sun? Or is that just a myth? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Sometimes, Moms are right. I have puppet eyes and have stared at the sun for hours... trust me when I tell you, the sun has nothing interesting worth starting at anyway. Stare at something interesting instead, like Frogstar.com |
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*** |
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2.Aug.2007 12:08 |
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Re: General |
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will I ever be back? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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if only just to see how I answered, I'd guess yes. |
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*** |
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2.Aug.2007 1:04 |
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Re: Your impending doom... |
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Hello WONKO. I, the almighty and powerful and far better looking sibling OKNOW, have come to test your pathetic little brain with a question. What is the secret to destroying you? P.S. Mom says 'hi' |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I am not made of any great magical material. I would guess fire would burn me. In fact, there is no secret. There are lots of ways to destroy a puppet... but I hae the same power as Doctor Who to keep me immortal. You can destroy my body, and I can just order a new one from the store. |
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*** |
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29.Jul.2007 20:03 |
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Re: Dog in pool... |
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Hey Wonko, how can I get my dog to want to get into our pool? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Hmmm... A good question. Maybe if you fill it with gravy... or stand by the other side and call the dog. Unless it's a poddle, it won't be smart enough to walk around, and may dive in to get to you. Third answer: IT'S A DOG! Throw it in. WHo cares what it wants. hehehe No animals were harmed in the answering of this question. |
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*** |
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27.Jul.2007 10:04 |
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Re: Keep it or not |
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Should I have an abortion without telling my boyfriend? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I never know if these are serious questions or not, because this is primarily a humour site and I certainly don't like making fun of abortions. They may burn my house down. I will say this. Abortion decisions are not simple ones for most people, and can have LIFE LONG effects you can't predict. While it may or may not be the best choice today, the future emotions will surprise you. Finding out about it later may be worse or better. Experts smarter than me suggest you discuss the choice with a lot of people you love and trust before deciding. |
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*** |
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22.Jul.2007 21:00 |
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Re: General |
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Do you believe in the Blanket Theory? How do you veiw the universe and do you believe that God is an actual being or is he some kind of energy that people make to be real? (Assuming you believe in God?) |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I don't believe any existing religions have the story right, but that's OK. I understand the need for answers and a belief system, even if it's based on faith and not fact. (It kind of has to be I guess). I'm just afraid of religions unwillingness to change as facts appear. f we ever discover new secrets to the universe, will they be open to these ideas. This scares me most. We've seen how more killing is religion based than anything else. I personally am developing my own church and belief's and one day, my book may pay for my retierment. It's based on the "pick a story and go with it" system... just don't kill those who disagree. |
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*** |
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20.Jul.2007 14:29 |
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Re: TRANSFORMERS!!!! |
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Hey Wonko,why did ya delete my question? Do you really hate Transformers that much? What's your favorite Triple-Changer? Springer Blitzwing Octane(my fave) Sandstorm |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I have no idea what any of those things are. |
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*** |
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13.Jul.2007 17:07 |
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Re: Puppet sex |
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Do puppets reproduce? Or do they just do it for fun? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Puppets don't need sex. They have fingers up their asses all day long. Cheap joke, but what else did you expect. |
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*** |
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12.Jul.2007 17:11 |
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Re: Huge trouble |
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I'm happily married with three kids, but a cute young guy at work has been coming on to me for weeks, and yesterday we went to his place at lunch time and we slept together. He wants to keep seeing me, and he's fantastic in bed - while my husband hardly ever gives it up and it isn't that good when he does. What should I do? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I won't call it pathetic to look for advice from a puppet to justify your cheating ways. I understand how good sex can confuse a life in so many ways... equally as much as a lack of good sex. I'm a puppet, not a prophet. I will say, it can't end well for everyone. You'll be among the damaged. |
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*** |
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29.Jun.2007 18:02 |
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Re: Life |
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Do you like McDonalds? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I eat their breakfast frequenty. |
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*** |
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28.Jun.2007 9:46 |
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Re: Life |
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Do you have to be a certian age to feel true love? (im not talking infatuous appearance based stuff they feed us on T.V.) |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I believe not, however love chages with age. The love you feel at 6 and 16 and 46 is different, as is love everytime. The love you feel as a teen is different because of the lack of experience. You don't know what you don't love yet. |
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*** |
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21.Jun.2007 21:44 |
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Re: The goddess |
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How can I get her to realize that I exist, without the chance that she will ridicule or hurt me? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Isn't that what MySpace is all about? The new way for teenagers to nudge and get noticed, and avoid possible rejection. I have lived a long life, and learned many lessons that younger people ignore. You have to learn your own way, but let me say that NOT dating is worse than REJECTION. Missing out on teenage kisses and hugs is a huge loss. Being rejected by one you like is hard, but far more short term, than the effects of NOT trying and not succeeding. You may only have eyes for one today, but if you fail with her, more will follow. Practice makes perfect... not trying leads to inexperience, and a lot less fun overall. Its the same with other things too. If you're afraid to build a model because it might be bad, you'll never know the joys of model building. When you're old, all you have is your stories and memories. If you didn't try, you'll have nothing to talk about. |
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*** |
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17.Jun.2007 18:06 |
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Re: Life |
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Today is Father's Day, and I got my dad Star Trek original of DVD, along with a Sudoku board game. Do you think he'll like them? The total cost was over $100. Do you think I over did it? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I can only say you overdid it if he doesn't like Star Trek or Sodoku. Spending money is always a personal thing. If he was happy with the gifts, then essentially you paid for that smile... and his pleasure. It's sometimes hard to know what will generate the smiles, so overspending may be just a bad guess. But Dad's should appreciate the thought (like the expression goes) and smile anyway. Good Dads will know this. Especially if $100 is a huge significant budget for you. I personally would never buy myself a Star Trek DVD, but if I had one, I would love it, and cherish it. Star Trek is like "comfort TV" to old folks. |
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*** |
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17.Jun.2007 14:11 |
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Re: General |
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Do you ever get tired of answering questions? Your answers have been kind of...lackluster lately. You feeling ok? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I answer in binges, unless a really great question catches my interest. I don't get tired of questions so much. I get tired of silly questions from the same people over and over and over. I delete a lot of them, so you may not know what I'm talking about. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
16.Jun.2007 23:27 |
|
Re: Angelina Jolie |
||
|
HI, will Angelina Jolie be reprising the roll that make a name for herself as Lara Croft Tomb Raider, please let me know.Thank you |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I have heard they will not be using her for the third film. The new game even has a different look to it. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
14.Jun.2007 17:09 |
|
Re: Transformer guy |
||
|
Why did you delete the Transformer question? Now it looks like I'm the only one who asks you questions. |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
You are. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
10.Jun.2007 14:16 |
|
Re: Answers? |
||
|
Are you ever going to answer another question? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Yes. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
29.May.2007 19:40 |
|
Re: General |
||
|
Have you seen the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie? Did you like it? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I have not yet seen the movie. Life is long. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
25.May.2007 16:13 |
|
Re: Sleep [deprivation] |
||
|
How long can a normal human go without sleeping? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I waited a few days... Still up? EDIT: How about now? |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
22.May.2007 18:29 |
|
Re: The universe |
||
|
Ok, Wonko. Enough arguing. Real question: Let's say that their is an entirely different universe living in everyone one of our blood cells, and these millions of universes make up our bodies. That is also what our universe is like. We are just one blood cell that makes up some other huge object that is also apart of some other larger universe. Would you agree with this? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I do not agree with a theory like this, but I have often wondered similar things. Cells remind me of stars often. The BIG BANG could be like birth. A good scene in MEN IN BLACK shows us that Galaxies can be of any size. Was there a question? |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
20.May.2007 16:05 |
|
Re: Re: Prinny Power! |
||
|
I want to respond to your answer of the question "what would you do if you saw an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?" Humans are not the only animals that don't let our weak die. I'm sure other animals protect their young. Other animals can also feel compassion when other animals die. I don't think that we know the psychology of other animals as normal beings, but I'm sure that animals do experience feeling. I'm sure animals are just like humans; some care, and some don't. |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
None of us know the truth for sure, but I can think you're wrong on some points. I was referring to species, not individuals. In what we refer to as the animal kingdom, the weak die. EVolution is based on it. Humans do their best to give everyone a chance because we care, even when the weak are not our own. We're screwing evolution. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
16.May.2007 9:32 |
|
Re: General |
||
|
whats the average size of the mans..penus?..is there an average size?..well does size matter? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Size only matters in the esteem of the owner. Confidence and pride effect everything. If you care, it matters. If you can get over it, you'll be a better person. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
13.May.2007 18:57 |
|
Re: Prinny Power! |
||
|
What would you do if you saw an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
laugh. I laugh at the entire idea of endangered anything. Life moves forward and species die... we pay the consequences. I am not saying it's not sad we have to look at pictures o DODO's instead of seeing them in cages at a zoo, but earth is all about evolution and moving on. In 3000 years, whoever is still alive won. And in 6000 years - same deal. It may not be humans. No matter what you believe in, you can't deny the world is changing every day. Humans are the only animal that don't let our weak die. And feels compasion when we see others die. Lions don't feel bad when Zebras die. I don't know for sure, but I believe lions probably don't feel bad when they see other lions die. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
12.May.2007 18:04 |
|
Re: Romance |
||
|
Do you think that romance was greater achieved during the 19th century, or is it equally possible to find the same amount of love for someone during today's times? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
TV teaches us what love is... and that is probably not a good thing, but people who have known real love know it isn't definable... and it hasn't changed since the first days of men and women. or men and men or women and women... Love is. A bitch. I do believe we can find it more than once per life if we need to, but it will be different every time. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
9.May.2007 14:01 |
|
Re: wonka |
||
|
ok while im on the subject of candy how about willy wonka is his factory like in the tv or the movies? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Kermit the Frog is a TV and Movie Star, but still a puppet, and in fact, one that has changed it's master as many times as I have... but Willy Wonka (no relation) is a fictional character. You do understand the difference, right? |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
8.May.2007 19:05 |
|
Re: I'll make you fun sized! |
||
|
What is Kermit The Frog's Apeal? Why do people like him so much? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
hey. He's the Frog Star. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
8.May.2007 14:13 |
|
Re: skittles |
||
|
do skittles really come from a rainbow or has tv warped my little mind? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
A bit of both. Al colour comes from the concet of a rainbow. Light is colour. Colour is light. Actually, the truth is, the colour of skitles ON TV is a rainbow made up of only three colours. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
3.May.2007 14:32 |
|
Re: school |
||
|
why dose school suck so much? i want to learn but for some reason i in this place i cant. also what did you do on 4/20? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Part of the reason school is designed to suck, is to help teach you that life includes chores and lessons beyond who discovered America. Half of the school experience is learning facts, and half the experience is learning to deal with life. You may notice it doesn't suck for everyone. Your choices and personality are part of the issue. The good news is, it's less than half your life. Buck up and wait it out. Summer jobs suck more, and if you're lucky - it'll suck less every year. P.S. True potheads don't wait till 4/20 |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
1.May.2007 14:20 |
|
Re: Subject |
||
|
Can I borrow your toaster for a week? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Only if you promise its not to throw in a tub while you bathe. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
29.Apr.2007 19:43 |
|
Re: Shouyou Weenie |
||
|
I tried to take you advice but Ledgendary senetor Apothesis was in court.... Now for my next question... How the hell do i escape the pit of a thousand hells? (this is serious as mo0st of the hells are about listening to different boy\girl bands.....) |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Many cultures believe you don't hve to die to be caught in a hell, and I can see you're one of them. Often, changing your shoes or moving to a different room is enough. In your case, pushing a different preset on the radio may be the easy solution. Earth bound hells are the easy ones. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
27.Apr.2007 9:23 |
|
Re: Life |
||
|
Is it true that SPAM stands for "Stuff Posing As Meat"? If not, what does SPAM mean? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
SPICED HAM actually. I just recently learned SPAM is trademarked and "spam" in all smallcaps is the way I'm asked to talk aboyt junk mail. MmMmMmm... yummy SPAM SPAM SPAM. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
23.Apr.2007 0:24 |
|
Re: Shoyou Weenie |
||
|
When bribing the Dark Council, What should I use? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Brown Sugar. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
20.Apr.2007 10:43 |
|
Re: Happy 4/20 |
||
|
Happy 4/20, Wonko. Many potheads are firin' it up today. So, my question to you is, should marijuana be legalized? -T.J. |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
A tough question. Let me say that I do not believe people should go to prison for drug use, It seems silly that people are in jail for years and years for minimum usage in some cases, and criminals that take my credit card numbers from an email and buy a piano go free. However, I also don't believe we should make it legal for everyone to try and use freely. Drug users often say LEGALIZE IT, but the truth is, the world would change quite a bit if drugs were as popular and easy to acquire and use as alcohol or cigarettes. Scary. Then again, they were pretty free and legal in the 40's and we all survived. If you use drugs casually, I don't think you should be terrified of jail. If you steal my piano to pay for those drugs - then maybe. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
17.Apr.2007 21:20 |
|
Re: life |
||
|
Why do people enjoy breaking and destroying things? is it just human nature or is there somthing more involved. I for one love to smash things with a hammer. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
14.Apr.2007 21:40 |
|
Re: General |
||
|
Wonko, why is it that nowadays, the only thing that people care about in a video game is graphics? What happened to the 16-bit era where people cared about game play, and didn't critisize games because they didn't have enough blood in them? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
First off, I disagree that people only care about graphics. I would say SOME people do, and others care about game play and strategy and other elements. Video game designers try to out-do the last generation of games so that they can sell. These days, it is easier to enhance technology and graphics than it is to write a better game. Games were good years ago. Brains have not changed as much as technology, so NEW games have amazing graphics, but may still suck as games. I miss Command Keen and Jumpman personally, and the better graphics never did Loderunner a bit of good. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
14.Apr.2007 14:47 |
|
Re: Mole Station |
||
|
My mom caught me on molestation.com, what should I Do??? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I tried several answers and decided every one was in poor taste. EVen the question doesn't really mke sense, since molestation is an act usually done TO you, not BY you... so if you were researching such a web site (which desn't exist by the way), it would be becaiuse somebody is molesting you - and I can't really make fun of that. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
12.Apr.2007 7:38 |
|
Re: General |
||
|
I think what arbor meant was 'why Isn't it ironic that "save the trees" picket fences, that are carried by people against cutting down trees, made of wood?' I ask you the same question, Wonko. |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Environmentalists who want to save the trees are the lamest of all. I can understand saving wildlife, or non renewable resources, but trees are in no danger. We're not running out of trees. If anything, whatever we'd use to replace trees is far far more wasteful and non renewable. Id you see somebody with a SAVE THE TREES sign, punch them. To date, I have never seen a SAVE THE TREES SIGN. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
12.Apr.2007 7:34 |
|
Re: Life |
||
|
Is my cat's nervous system complex enough to allow for fantasies? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I'm no expert, but I don't believe the nervous system relates much to whether your cat can dream or imagine things. I believe cats do dream of a time when the food arrives, and they can ignore us more. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
11.Apr.2007 14:24 |
|
Re: do you think i'll ever |
||
|
do youthink i'll ever date a suicide girl? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Much like a lottery, you have to buy a ticket to win. You have to KNOW a suicide girl and ask her out. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
8.Apr.2007 15:59 |
|
Re: General |
||
|
Wonko, I've noticid a severe lack of popularity in Trading Card games, ie: Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, Magic: The Gathering, etc. My question is: What happened to their popularity? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
POP Culture in general comes and goes. Part of what makes youth like something, is that it is different from what our parents liked. Music changes, fashion changes, and recreational games change. Pus, Trading cards were stupid anyway. I was happy to see that one lose pop culture status. Then again, I'm old. Monopoly and checkers never went out of style. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
5.Apr.2007 14:35 |
|
Re: General |
||
|
sorry i ment to type kill my self how should i do it? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I bet if you could lick yourself, you might not want to die. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
5.Apr.2007 14:33 |
|
Re: General |
||
|
i think ill likk my self how do you suggest i do it? |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
4.Apr.2007 19:44 |
|
Re: General |
||
|
why does shit stink? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I would not say so much that it stinks. More accurately, it smells like shit. And to humans at least, shit smells bad... so we know not to eat it. If chocolate smelled like shit, we wouldn't eat it either. Nature is smart. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
1.Apr.2007 23:32 |
|
Re: Life |
||
|
My parents are divorced, but they're still friends. Other than obvious reasons, why is it that most divorced people can't stand to be in the same room with each other? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I think you have it backwards. Most people who can't stand to be in the same room with each other are wise to get a divorce. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
30.Mar.2007 11:07 |
|
Re: boyfriend and mom |
||
|
Thanks for answer my question...and your are right...i should not pressure him into to giving it up unless HE wants to...thats great advice...i shouldn't be so selfish...me and him have been going out for a year and 1 month now...going on strong...i love him so much...i have another question though...even though i love my mom...she can be extremely mean...i cant take it anymore...she treatens me...and even says that i should go live with my dad...should i ??...or should i get wait till i graduate and get out of there ?? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Everything in life eventually becomes the story you tell. Youth is a hard time for many, and as adults, we tell the stories of how iut shaped us to make us who we are. Some have better childhoods than others, and some choose to let it make them better or worse adults for it. How we react to others is wo we are. If you are in a tough life, let it make you sronger, not meaner. Learn from the treatment and react in the way you want to be. Its hard I know, and you won't know how you did till you're old, telling the story of how your home-life made you who you are. I had a good home life, so I may not be the best to instruct, but I have met many good strong people who didn't come from a good home life. I've also met many dickheads and crimminals who blame it on that. A mother's respect - both ways - is important, but if you don't have it today, don't take the easy out and become a slime asshole because of it. Pride beats shame every time, and there is almost always some way to find pride if you look for it. I'm not always this serious. I hope you're not as well. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
29.Mar.2007 14:02 |
|
Re: puppet |
||
|
wonko thanks for answering but you didnt answer why are you a hand puppet so....why are you hand puppet and dose that make you immortal? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Correct me if I'm wrong - and I know you will, but a Hand Puppet is the only way I know of to remain immortal without breaking laws of what we call physics. I can be passed from hand to hand over time, and gain and retain the wisdom of all my masters. I can't say why I was born this way. It's all I've ever known. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
29.Mar.2007 4:13 |
|
Re: INBRED PEOPLE |
||
|
If ADAM and EVE were the first two people wouldnt we all be insest?? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Whether you believe that story or not, history is filled with brothers and sisters having sex. The entire British Empire and others are based around wedding close family. We only figured out it was bad in more recent times. Now only Southern Americans do it. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
28.Mar.2007 16:08 |
|
Re: General |
||
|
Dear Mr Wonko, where do all the pen lids go? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
It would be cheap humour to say they're next to the lost socks. I was going to say they're next to the mustard in the fridge, but very few people would understand that I can never find the mustard in the fridge, so that would not be funny either. I use click pens personally, so I am not well rehearsed with a funny answer. I've seen a guy in accounting chewing on a pen cap, so maybe he knows. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
28.Mar.2007 15:00 |
|
Re: Boyfriend |
||
|
okay...My boyfriend used to smoke pot...but he said he would stop for me...but some of my friends said that hes using again...what should i do ??...should i confront him about it ??...or wait for him to tell me ??... |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I don't think people should stop "for you". They should stop because THEY want to. If you make a boyfriend do things he likes "for you" then you might not be his girlfriend for long. ... or he'll attempt to hide it and lie. That doesn't mean he's a bad person...it means he loves you AND pot. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
28.Mar.2007 14:31 |
|
Re: world |
||
|
ok to end my sucky 6 months of life im to take over the world what is the best way to do that also why are you a hand puppet? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I have watche dalmost all the BOND movies and the Austin Powers films and although many of those ideas to take over the world were great, they all failed to work because there ar people out there who's job it is to stop you. Bush is trying too, and he's got a team. Start smaller. Take over a mid western city in Kansas. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
28.Mar.2007 3:14 |
|
Re: Life |
||
|
What do you think about the Canadian sky? I have visited America, and I have found the Candadian sky to be more beutiful. And is it possable to see the Northern Lights in Manitoba? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
The strangest experience in my life was travelling the underground tunnel between Windsor Ontario and Detroit Michigan. For those who don't know, they're almost the same city, half in Canada and half in the States. When I came out the US side of the tunnel, the sky actually looked different. Darker somehow. It freaked me out. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
27.Mar.2007 18:38 |
|
Re: General |
||
|
why are the "up with the trees" signs made of wood ? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I don't know what UP WITH TREES signs are, but why wouldn't they be made of wood? |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
27.Mar.2007 14:24 |
|
Re: life |
||
|
my life really sucks and keeps getting worse what do i do and also whats a good way to kill time? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I've lived a long life, and one thing I can tell you, is that it changes. Sucky life is usually less than 6 months. Killing time is easy. There... we just killed a few seconds asking. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
17.Mar.2007 20:13 |
|
Re: General |
||
|
is it possible to break ones nut? one and only one of them and still be able to function correctly? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Lots of men have only one nut. I'm not sure if they lose one because they break it. Is cancer breaking it? |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
16.Mar.2007 20:59 |
|
Re: is? |
||
|
is wonko the greatest thing since sliced bread, or what? wasnt sliced bread great? i mean, isnt it great? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
It's 2007, and WONDER BREAD has re-invented sliced bread. They have whole wheat WHITE bread now. Does that make sliced bread better? What happens to all those things in life that were better than sliced bread, less impressive? |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
7.Mar.2007 20:32 |
|
Re: boyfriend |
||
|
how can i make my boyfriend trust me? we got into a lot of problems during the month of january and i dated someone else while we were broken up. we're back together now and all he can do is compare himself with the guy i was with for like 2 weeks. i try to make him feel better about himself but nothing works. please help me? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
We can never know what is going on inside the head of another, especially around romance and love. Trust is a hard issue to rebuild, especially among boyfriends. My suggestion, pay him lot and lots of money, and always cook for him. He may not trust you, but he won't leave. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
7.Mar.2007 18:04 |
|
Re: none |
||
|
if i told u that i loved u would you say you loved me too? would you tell me that i'm beautiful? would you tell me i was your world? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Yes, but I may lie to get sex. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
7.Mar.2007 11:08 |
|
Re: Earning Money |
||
|
What is a good way to earn money quickly? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
win it. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
5.Mar.2007 0:10 |
|
Re: =) |
||
|
i cut myself, what should i do about it>? i need help. do u have any advice? am i an emo kid? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Emo kid? I don't know what that means. Is that a muppet? No, that's elmo. Oh well... you asked the question two or three days ago and I only answered today, so maybe you're already dead. EDIT: I used Google (as always to look up Emo Kid.) It seems it doesn't matter what I answer. You don't care. COOL EMO KID: doesnt care what ppl think, likes a good band whether they are on mtv or not, and won't stop listening to some band just cuz everyone suddenly 'discovered' them. Sorry. I'm wise, not prompt. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
1.Mar.2007 22:49 |
|
Re: ummm. |
||
|
Wonko. Why can't the sky be purple or hot pink or something? blue is just getting old. dont u think? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Perhaps they only let you out for a few hours a day. Where I live, in Canada, our sky is all colours from a nice orange (my fav) to purple and red and white and grey and blue and occasionally hot pink. Northern lights are even green sometimes. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
25.Feb.2007 19:16 |
|
Re: General |
||
|
Dear Mr Wonko, surely the answer to the question below is, 'Anything that isn't so big that it makes his eyes water'? No disrespect, but I felt a compulsion to answer that myself. And while we are on the subject, what's the normal size penis for a girl? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I wish I had a paid drummer to add rimshots after my jokes. If I did, I'd say; "MINE". Is that wrong? |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
24.Feb.2007 22:53 |
|
Re: hey |
||
|
whats the normal size penis for a guy? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
This has been asked and answered over and over. Please stop asking. Ask your teacher or priest. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
20.Feb.2007 19:09 |
|
Re: General |
||
|
how come when you eat fruit loops you poop funny colors |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I don't think I do. Maybe you should have asked why you poop in colour. I'll ask, how close do you look at your own poo? |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
9.Feb.2007 16:25 |
|
Re: hey wonko |
||
|
Do you think my boyfriend should stop smoking? |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
Tell him to drop and roll, or throw some water on him. People should never be on fire. |
||||
|
*** |
||||
|
9.Feb.2007 10:11 |
|
Re: life |
||
|
what am i going to be in life |
||||
|
Wonko's Reply: |
||||
|
I am not so much a fortune teller as a giver of wisdom and immortal experience. However, I would guess from what you've given me, a low level employee where punctuation and capital letters are not important. A typical AOL user. |
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*** |
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7.Feb.2007 15:28 |
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Re: General |
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Why is your name wonko? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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My parents named me. |
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*** |
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7.Feb.2007 13:31 |
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Re: size |
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How big of a penis is too big? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I was tempted to make a joke about your mother, but I don't usually stoop to that level. Most women would agree that you can have a penis that is too big, at least for normal pleasure. However, men with really big penis issues seem to do well in film and the party world as a novelty act. I would say however, that Wonko isn't the best person to answer. Each girlfriend you encounter wll offer a different answer, so my answer would be: Too big? Ask her. |
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*** |
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7.Feb.2007 10:45 |
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Re: whats a widget |
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whats a widget (pronounced WIH-jit) |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Way back when I was a kid, a widget referred to a fictional product that didn't exist. We used the term as a tool when we learned marketing or other business classes. The teacher would say something like; We're selling widgets. Widgets did not exist. Today, they seem to have become a computer term for "anything", so I can see where you'd be confused. The most popular use is Yahoo Widgets, which can refer to any small program that uses a widget engine to lessen certain programming tasks. I like the good old days. |
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*** |
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28.Jan.2007 20:27 |
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Re: General |
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The World's Hardest Riddle i turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities. I turn pancakes brown and make your champane bubble. If you sqeeze me, I'll pop. If you look at me, you'll pop. Can you guess the riddle? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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It seems like air or water or mist... air in water? I wouldn't say it's the world's hardest. Batman has solved harder ones. When you enter "I turn polar bears white" into Google, the answers come up everywhere including, ironically, Yahoo Answers. The answer to the "worlds hardest riddle" is pressure. I should have guessed it, but I've never been particularly good at puzzles. My Mom would have taken the time to figure it out. |
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*** |
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26.Jan.2007 17:52 |
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Re: General |
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I think yahoo answers is better than this place dont you think so too........... |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Yahoo answers are better. I agree. They may not be as silly however. |
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*** |
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26.Jan.2007 17:51 |
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Re: General |
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i need help with my homework can you help me? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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It's 17. |
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*** |
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26.Jan.2007 17:49 |
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Re: General |
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what is the best game system? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Intelevision. |
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*** |
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26.Jan.2007 17:48 |
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Re: General |
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what is the hardest question to answer |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Are you asleep? |
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*** |
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19.Jan.2007 23:06 |
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Re: dreams |
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do humans have dreams every single night and just not remember some or do they dream every once in a while? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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We dream more than you might think. I dream while awake and while asleep. I dream when I close my eyes and when they're open. Dreaming is another word for thinking. You may confuse dreams with specific stories, but they can be instant random thoughts too. While reading this sentence, you may already have dreamed about something else. Just because you don't remember, or are not aware of dreams doesn't mean they don't happen. Your mind is seldom idle. During sleep, there are period of non dream states. You don't dream constantly, but you will dream. Your brain needs to think and rethink and dream while asleep. |
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*** |
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8.Jan.2007 12:58 |
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Re: General |
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What are you political stances, and do you support Bush? Is America going to hell or what? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I'm an immortal being, so Bush is just an 8 year phase in history, just like when teenagers listen to bad music. I'm not American, so I'm in the majority that look and watch with amazement, rather than the minority that think it's right. I'm fascinated with the concept of controlled democracy and swapping parties. The dependency on flipping alternatives every decade or so. I'll be fascinated to see how it all turns out in 100 years, and what stories we'll be telling about this war and this administration. |
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*** |
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21.Dec.2006 15:55 |
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Re: General |
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Dear Wonko... Is being emo a crime? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I've actually met Emo. He is a funny commedian with an obscure style. HE may not be the kind of funny everyone likes, but I don't think he's illegal. |
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*** |
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19.Dec.2006 17:55 |
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Re: General |
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What is the meaning of life? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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42. |
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*** |
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19.Dec.2006 17:54 |
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Re: General |
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why wonko why |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I try to answer people's questions, but the truth is, when the questions suck big time, it's hard. Then it's hard. That's why. |
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*** |
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15.Dec.2006 17:21 |
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Re: General |
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I just killed someone and i had to tell someone without getting caught. Wow what a big relief i just let off my chest...Oh yea i bet you cant find out who i am |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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There are a few web sites (and churches)n for such confessions. Here, you're supposed to ask questions. |
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*** |
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14.Dec.2006 2:50 |
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Re: General |
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Well Wonko i have to say i admire the person you are...Answering ALL the questions you get must be tuff....i was just wondering what a vigina should look like...sumtimes i think mine looks a little strange but then again ive never acctually looked at another vigina before so how am i supposed to know.. please help Love Jennifer |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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That is like asking; what is normal. One of the coolest aspects to earth and humanity is that there is room for uniqueness. Your vagina looks like your vagina, and that can't be wrong. Vagina Pride! |
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*** |
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11.Dec.2006 17:28 |
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Re: General |
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if everyone thinks outside the box and people are telling everyone to think outside the box isnt evryone still thinking inside the box??? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I agree that with each passing year, the box grows. However, unvonventional thinking is just against the norm. If everyone is thinking outside the box, then thinking INSIDE a box could be unconventional. |
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*** |
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11.Dec.2006 17:24 |
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Re: General |
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if a man has a sex change and is now a woman. which bathroom does he go into???and can the man marrie another man if gay marriage is illegal in that state they were to get married in??? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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(a) If a man has a sex change, she IS a woman. (b) People who have sex changes are not necessarily gay. You show ignorance in place of humour. |
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*** |
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9.Dec.2006 23:09 |
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Re: lost love |
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Wonko I have fallen in love with a man and he also with me but he cant deal with my past work history as a prostitute. I have stopped now but he still feels sick and there is a huge trust issue. This really sucks.. |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Trust is a tough one. When people lose trust, it's hard to get over, because it stays in the back of your brain, and even when you SAY you're over it - you'll always jump to untrust thoughts when the situation arises. Prostitution, while some may regard it as a noble profession, it is a choice that effects you forever, even after it's over. I can't answer how to resolve trust issues. I have my own. Love doesn't always conquer all. |
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*** |
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29.Nov.2006 15:59 |
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Re: how |
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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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3 cubits. (a weak answer for a weak question.) |
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*** |
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29.Nov.2006 15:42 |
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Re: truth |
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is thier any such thing as absolute truth. |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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yes. That. |
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*** |
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27.Nov.2006 13:20 |
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Re: My Question on Life, etc, blahblahblah |
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Question: If you make enough money to live on, but are constantly behind on bills due to a previous financial position when you didn't have enough money to live on, then how are you supposed to be able to get current and (fat chance) save some money? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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If you're American, you sue somebody. The problem with the world these days is, there is way too much stuff to buy. |
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*** |
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21.Nov.2006 18:52 |
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Re: Aren't you lucky |
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|
Aren't you lucky to have a guy who can switch this guestbook over from Access to SQL Server, without losing any of the existing data? If you get this, it worked. :) Have a nice day! |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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Yes. I am lucky to have a sysadmin who helps me. I'm old. I need all the help I can get. |
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*** |
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20.Nov.2006 14:08 |
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Re: Roses |
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|
Do the color of the roses matter?...I mean i want to give my girlfriend some flowers and I want them to be roses...What color should I get them?.. |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I am not a huge fab of answering questions that Google does a better job at. I just Googled "color of rose" and found a few nice sites. --- From Susan Breslow Sardone, Your Guide to Honeymoons / Romantic Getaways. The color of a rose can have a very different meaning from what you intend. To ensure that your love understands what the roses you bestow mean, check this guide to rose colors and their meanings: Red Roses Red roses proclaim "I love you." They are the ultimate symbol of romantic love and enduring passion. Florists can't keep up with Valentines Day demand for red roses, which makes them especially expensive in February. Buy Red Roses Online. Pale Pink Roses Pale pink roses connote grace, gentleness, and gratitude. Light Pink Roses A joy to behold, light pink roses express fun and happiness. Deep Pink Roses Deep pink roses say "Thank you." Lilac Roses Lilac roses indicate the sender has fallen in love at first sight with the recipient and is enchanted. White Roses Pure white roses symbolize truth and innocence. They also send other messages: "I miss you" and "You're heavenly." Coral Roses Coral roses express one thing with their passionate color: Desire. Peach Roses Peach roses speak of appreciation, gratitude, and also sympathy. Orange Roses Orange roses communicate enthusiasm and desire on the part of the sender. Yellow Roses Yellow roses indicate friendship and freedom -- so don't send them if your intentions are romantic and long-lasting. Yellow roses are also appropriate for sending congratulations to newlyweds, graduates, Texans, and new mothers. Dead Roses Regardless of the original color, dead roses say "It's over" loud and clear. COMBINED ROSES Put two or more colors of roses together, and a new rose meaning arises: White Roses + Yellow Roses A symbol of harmony. Red Roses + Yellow Roses A message of happiness and celebration. Red Roses + White Roses An indication of bonding and harmony. MORE ROSE SYMBOLISM While roses are traditionally presented in bouquet form, these are also acceptable: Single Red Rose "I love you" (but I'm not going to go broke telling you). Single Rose Any Color "I thank you" (and I'm still not going to go broke saying so). Two Roses Entwined An engagement or marriage is imminent. |
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*** |
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16.Nov.2006 3:16 |
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Re: Love |
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|
Well theres this boy named josh and im kind of absolutly in love with him....well hes not the ordinary boy...hes perfect...well hes stolen my heart and i dnt know what to do..can you help me?? |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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I don't see the problem. |
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*** |
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15.Nov.2006 9:24 |
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Re: Once again |
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|
Well I ask you last time about my ex girlfriend of What to do once she just wanted to be friends with me....Well now she wants to get back with me..what should i do?...should i just go back with her or should i make her want me more?... |
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Wonko's Reply: |
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|
This is a tough one to answer, but my advice would be this. How much did you suffer when she broke up the first time, because some people can handle being dumped over and over. She sounds like she can dump you at will and have you back as needed. This means she is in control. Some men are OK with this. Some men prefer it. Some men prefer women who actually love them. |
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*** |
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|
9.Nov.2006 9:27 |
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